honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
My school has security cameras in every classroom and I’ve done this at least 3 times each class this entire year. Today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero.
THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45
This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.
Today, I just got the keys to my first house.
Give it time.
Needed this today
my netflix wasn’t working so i called the netflix dude and after he fixed it he said let’s try it out and see if it worked so we watched an hour long movie together and idk i think it was a date
One time this boy in my math class ate an eraser
it was last week
i am seventeen years old
the class was A.P. calculus
- (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
- Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
- Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
- Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
- Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
- Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
- (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
- Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
- Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
- (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
- Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
- Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
- Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
- Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
- (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
- Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
- Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
- Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
- (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)